WHY THE FUCK IS REASSURANCE SO IMPORTANT!?

Why women need reassurance and men won’t give it.
One of the most important ways that a woman feels love is through reassurance. Sometimes in the beginning men make sure to express their commitment, love, and dedication. After a while, he may think the relationship is secured, and he will forget to show these things. Men think that the love and support they have once should have the woman feeling secure, but that isn’t the case. Women need CONSTANT love and support. At all times women need to feel appreciation. Reassurance from the one you love is also encouraging and motivating, not only comforting. Try to always reassure your partner.

Personally, in the relationships I’ve been in, I could feel myself getting annoying. I’m in constant need of reassurance but I would put my need to the side. I would always keep my partner satisfied and reassured, because I know that I my need for reassurance could be a bit much.

I learned that yearning for reassurance is never a bad thing, but I still would feel like I didn’t need directly to ask for it. I would find myself testing my partner. I would ask questions like “if I died how long would it take you to move on?” Of course the answers didn’t meet my expectations, and I’d get upset. Testing your partner with WHAT-IF situations is never the answer. That’ll only get your feelings hurt. Men don’t give reassurance because…… When you express doubt, he takes it personally and assumes you doubt because he hasn’t been doing a great job at being your boyfriend. When you keep asking for reassurance eventually he will absorb that and believe he is not doing a good job as a boyfriend and give up. Thing is, everyone needs reassurance and everyone needs to feel loved and cherished. Kindly explain to your partner what being reassured means to you, so that he understands that it is natural.

How to get reassurance without begging for it.
1. Guys act instead of communicating. So find your reassurance in the things he does for you, the way he treats you, or non-verbal communication. By doing so, you are not bugging the fuck out of your boyfriend/babydaddy/husband while being reassured.
2. If you’re the type of girl who needs to HEAR reassuring words, then it’s a bit trickier. As I said earlier, Men act rather than say. You will often have to put a bug in his ear and make him say reassuring things without him noticing. Not testing, but saying things like. “Hey don’t i look beautiful today babe?” And take that as fuel.

 

Moral of the story, needing reassurance is apart of love. Eventually, you will grow out of wondering whether he/she loves you. You will feel it. You will know it. Don’t worry about those little demons in your head spewing insecurity, because to be honest. Your partner loves you or he wouldn’t be with you.

Don’t be a dummy!

Put yourself in my shoes for today.
Imagine being told all the time how lovely and beautiful you are. How amazing it is for you too have so many people who love and admire you. Imagine feeling lost and destitute at every moment of your life, but pretending to smile and laugh and enjoy life. Imagine not knowing your purpose. Not knowing your worth. Not even knowing why you let yourself fall so many times not even want to get back up. It’s scary isn’t it? The darkness. The loneliness. The heart wrenching pain. The thought that you’ll forever be stuck in that nightmare. But you’re only imagining it for a second… I’m living it.

What does it mean when you wake up everyday with a smile on your face? Is it happiness from waking up is it the love you feel radiating around you? Is it just the thought that you love yourself more than anything in this world and everyday you strive to make yourself happy and you’d never let anyone compromise that happiness or that joy?

I used to be so open to new relationships. I used to yearn to be loved by others, accepted even. Then I started living a little. Quickly realizing that this wasn’t what I wanted. Love from strangers, attention from strangers, validation from strangers… that’s not what you want or need. You don’t need a place to fit into. All you really need is the love you can provide yourself.

Find only those who can benefit you:

Whether it’s physically, mentally, or financially the people in your life HAVE TO BENEFIT YOU IN SOME WAY. I hear you “that’s using people.” OF COURSE IT IS. Use every tool you can. You use stairs to get go up don’t you? Everyone should use each other in a positive way. Help is always needed to succeed no matter what. In a relationship, use your partner. Use them for support, love, communication….use them for energy. A relationship is supposed to feed you it’s supposed to nourish you and grow you up. Never partake in unbeneficial relationships… let me tell you why.

I used to be that girl that would accept a man as he was. Love him for all that he was. Fell in love with the IDEA of him and the POTENTIAL I saw in him. Made up a vision and stuck to it. There’s a word for that. DELUSION. The most dangerous word in the world besides the “PREGNANT.” Don’t be me. Being delusional makes you blind to alotta shit. Makes you blind to a nigga finessing you, blind to a nigga leading you on, sending you off, and fucking mistreating you. You’ll literally see the man finessing you out of your last $20 but it’s okay because you see his potential to be a great boyfriend. No. Take what it is and run with it. RUN.

Knowing your self worth is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You need to know who you are and what you are capable of. Of course, you can tell yourself this and that and make all kind of excuses for a nigga and hypothesize about how eventually he’ll get his shit together. But if he isn’t already what you want in a man don’t waste your time. A real man will do anything and everything to keep you happy and he will fight to protect you and your love. A real man might not know how to keep you happy but he will surely try his best and find brand new ways. He will do what he can for you and that’s that. No man is perfect and no relationship is always happy, but you’ll know when it just isn’t a good relationship. Love doesn’t hurt. Love yourself first.

Don’t get dickmatized.
There’s more men than women in the world, plenty of fish in the sea. You’ll always find a dick to fuck on and a face to sit on. Don’t worry about leaving a nigga because you’re scared that you won’t find great sex again. Sex is a door that you can always walk into and you shouldn’t worry about it at all. Dickmatism happens to the best of us, just recognize it and move on.

I ain’t even gonna lie. I’ve been dickmatized TOO GOOD once upon a time. I had start fucking with this nigga, lets call him, Daniel. He was like a drug to me from the moment I started talking to him and it didn’t matter what he did or said, he was mine so I didn’t care at all. He treated me so good at first! He was texting me everyday to wake me up, claiming me on social media, everything. That’s when the drama started. You know with dick there’s always a bitch attached. This girl had went to school with me and she dated this man, but at first when I started talking to him I really didn’t notice. Then I kinda recalled who he was and I didn’t care. He would post me on social media and he would claim me and that’s how shorty found out we was kicking shit. She INSTLANTLY slid in the DMs and explained how they were still talking and never gonna stop. I was oblivious to the bullshit, cause girl please. 5D8ECAB5-84B5-4E7A-9218-7A7E95FFC49C

That was the FIRST red flag. Months went by and the girl was still posting tweets about him still sending subliminals and he wouldn’t post me or anything anymore and atp I was dickmatized but didn’t realize it. I was still getting into it with hoes over this no good ass nigga but the dick was tooooo bomb. I was still arguing with hoes and fighting with bitches over a nigga and he knew he had me wrapped cause he would start to do shit in my face, getting comfortable. Don’t ever let a nigga get too comfortable! Even when I realized the nigga wasn’t shit I wasn’t still fucking with him for the potential. I was eating up his lies and taking his excuses for reasons. Moral of the story. When your intuition tells you something you listen. A nigga will tell you anything to benefit off you and a nigga WILL finesse you if you let them. You hold the power. Once you leave a aint shit ass nigga, you’ll level up and he’ll be on your dick. Stay woke sis.

 

Threesome, Threesome

Would you be comfortable giving your partner a threesome? I mean seriously. I don’t mean “yes I want to please my man so I’ll do whatever he wants, including a threesome.” I mean would you be okay having a threesome and would you enjoy it? I’ve always wondered why this was such a huge thing in relationships it seems like everyone is plagued with the choice on whether they want to bring someone else into the bed or not. I know many females personally who still haven’t recovered from the mere thought of their partner asking for a threesome. I would consider having a threesome, but I think that I would have to talk for months maybe years on what I’m okay with. Which leads me to believe that a threesome isn’t even as simple as it sounds.

What is a threesome? A threesome is group sex, where a couple brings an extra person in to engage in intercourse. It also doesn’t even have to be a couple, it can just be three people who want to have sex. GENERALLY, from what I’ve seen, the male proposes the idea to have a threesome. A female can also propose the idea of a threesome.

From personal experience, every time I was ever asked to participate in a threesome I played it off like I was cool with it but so many thoughts went through my head like… Am I not enough? What’s so good about a threesome? Should I kill this nigga? Why the fuck would he ask ME for a threesome? FEF442EB-E72D-491D-986E-586CD8154FCD.gif

My thing never was disinterest in a threesome. My concern always was the fact that he wanted to involve another woman like I wasn’t enough and then what if he actually fell in love with fucking her? He’s going to try to get his 1 on 1 and that I’m not having. A man can be strategic in wanting a threesome I see some men using this as a way to get his cake and eat it too with no consequences because his girl agreed, but be aware. Be aware of a man using you for his own sexual gratification and one that’s not concerned about how you feel and just wants to push a threesome on you. Don’t do anything you’re not okay with. NEVER let anyone TELL you what you have to do to be with them. If it makes you uncomfortable tell they ass hold on hold on holiday 😭

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Signs:
Every other convo he’s asking you for a threesome.
Every other convo he’s asking you to find a girl to participate.

 

If you’re open to trying new things, a badass sexual being, then that’s wonderful. I’m glad that you have this kind of mindset when it comes to sex. I don’t know if you’re detached or just simply into all things different. Women ARE strong enough to handle anything so, I’m not surprised. Some couples are full on swingers. BUT, Are you the girl who thinks she’s okay with it and deep down gets into it and sees her man caressing and penetrating another girl and can’t stomach it? You want to kill them both. It’s like they’re cheating right in front of your eyes! Which brings me into two important factors when CONSIDERING A THREESOME. Nobody’s saying be boring, bitch. 5D8ECAB5-84B5-4E7A-9218-7A7E95FFC49C

1. Communicate.
Talk to each other about what brought on the fantasy of a threesome in the first place. Fellas, be honest with your girl and ensure that she knows that your want for a threesome is out of fantasy and not unfufillment. (Ladies as well if the this is your idea)

2. Set boundaries
If a threesome is agreed upon by both parties, then great. Talk about what will and will not be tolerated. Like can he fuck but not eat her out? Butt stuff? Talk about your limits or the whole thing will fall through. Nothing is worse than a failed threesome.

Lets say you do go through with the threesome, and now you want more… Communicate. Threesomes are like weed. Gateway drug.

 

Know your worth, add tax.

Know your worth and add TAX.

Think of yourself as a house. You are AN ESTATE that you will always have to fix up, you will always have to make improvements. Small adjustments. These small adjustments will help keep the house together and intact… but what about the foundation? Was the foundation built sturdy enough to weather every storm and hold up through anything?

There were so many times where I felt that I fell short of what a woman is “supposed” to be. I felt like I wasn’t measuring up and I wasn’t living my life correctly. I would see all the other girls at school and they were skinny, fashionable, and they were dating boys. I of course knew some boys but I was socially awkward and I was unsure of myself.  I didn’t know how to form HEALTHY social relationships with boys. Like what was I supposed to say to them? Ehhh wassup doc?

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Right. Big ass nerd. I went to an all girls high school and there were two groups of black girls. There was a group of popular, highly liked girls and there were nerdy, boy band loving girls. I would say say I was in the middle. Don’t get me wrong I thought I was the shit, but there was times where I felt like I didn’t add up… if that makes sense.

In elementary school, I was looking for reactions. I wanted to know what would happen IF. I never even knew if I had self esteem issues or not that never crossed my mind. I later realized that I was naive and easily manipulated by boys, because I wanted them to like me. I tried hard, but little did I know even without all the extra, they would like me anyway. I would talk to ALL the boys in my classroom and they all seemed to flock to me. I was like a magnet. I would engage in conversations with the boys on the phone every night sometimes all the boys on the line at once, nothing dirty, but I would listen to their conversations . I wanted to fit in with them. I didn’t like the girls much, they were messy. This is the age where nudes were leaked, 3 way calls were recorded, and Facebook was popping. The niggas was on me like white on rice and I was eating the shit up because I loved attention. I loved having something to make me feel special something that made me think I was worth it. This is the age where I learned that it’s easy to lose yourself in your hormones. It’s easy to be manipulated into things you don’t want to do, if you want to be liked bad enough.

Honestly, I had a hard time in my own skin. I was teased since I was very little, because of my size jeans, my darker colored skin, my big lips. I especially was teased because I had “too much hair, and it wasn’t never combed right.” It took me the longest to be able to look in the mirror and face myself. It took me a long time to become confident with my arms out in the summer. It took forever to realize that a body count doesn’t define who you are. I wasn’t comfortable being me I wanted to be in someone else’s skin SO BADLY. I wondered how much better off the world would be without me. I have been that girl who self harmed, I have been that girl who contemplated suicide multiple times, I have been the girl who would just take the jabs because I didn’t think I was enough to stand up for myself.

“YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are everything.” Wake up every morning and tell yourself that and if not now, eventually you’ll believe it. Believe it or not, you are the only one who can be you. It sounds very cliche but it’s the truth. If anyone could just wake up in your body and be you, then this existence wouldn’t be real. Things everyone, even I, need to realize.

1. Life experiences don’t define your self worth.
No matter what social media and the world wants you to believe, only you can define who you are. Not how many guys/girls you fucked, how many times you got drunk and embarrassed yourself, not how many times you flunked out of school. You make your own destiny. Your worth isn’t based on “social norms.” You can’t live YOUR life worried about what the next bitch has to say. If she think you a pussy popper, then ok. That’s HER opinion. You know that you’re more than that. Don’t get sidetracked from doing whatever makes YOU happy.

2. Life has no rules.

Do whatever the fuck You want to do! This is the KEY to life. Focus on what you want and what you want your life experiences to consist of. Don’t worry about what anyone has to say about your life! It is not there shit to live. 1A6C3023-DB7A-40F4-93B0-12C5B3A078C1.gif
3. Kick out every toxic mf in your life!

You know your self worth, so make sure they know as well. Don’t let anyone mistreat you and don’t indulge in shit that’s not benefitting you. Make sure people know that time is money and your charging they ass, with tax. Don’t even give and opportunity for them to waste your time.
Sidebar: Regarding relationships, knowing your self worth is vital. If you don’t know your worth you’ll forever be getting played, you’ll forever be taken advantage of. SET STANDARDS. Let your partner know what you will and WILL NOT TOLERATE. Knowing your worth will save you a lot of problems. They will try to tell you anything and you’ll let them because you think you need them or you’ll never find anyone else to be with you. You might think you’re not pretty enough, you’re not adventurous or whatever. There is someone that will love and accept you for you. Be patient.

Be confident that you’re that baddiest thang walking. Who’s gonna check you? 3139A97D-55AF-4FEF-98C3-65318F7C3F55