Put yourself in my shoes for today.
Imagine being told all the time how lovely and beautiful you are. How amazing it is for you too have so many people who love and admire you. Imagine feeling lost and destitute at every moment of your life, but pretending to smile and laugh and enjoy life. Imagine not knowing your purpose. Not knowing your worth. Not even knowing why you let yourself fall so many times not even want to get back up. It’s scary isn’t it? The darkness. The loneliness. The heart wrenching pain. The thought that you’ll forever be stuck in that nightmare. But you’re only imagining it for a second… I’m living it.
What does it mean when you wake up everyday with a smile on your face? Is it happiness from waking up is it the love you feel radiating around you? Is it just the thought that you love yourself more than anything in this world and everyday you strive to make yourself happy and you’d never let anyone compromise that happiness or that joy?
I used to be so open to new relationships. I used to yearn to be loved by others, accepted even. Then I started living a little. Quickly realizing that this wasn’t what I wanted. Love from strangers, attention from strangers, validation from strangers… that’s not what you want or need. You don’t need a place to fit into. All you really need is the love you can provide yourself.
Find only those who can benefit you:
Whether it’s physically, mentally, or financially the people in your life HAVE TO BENEFIT YOU IN SOME WAY. I hear you “that’s using people.” OF COURSE IT IS. Use every tool you can. You use stairs to get go up don’t you? Everyone should use each other in a positive way. Help is always needed to succeed no matter what. In a relationship, use your partner. Use them for support, love, communication….use them for energy. A relationship is supposed to feed you it’s supposed to nourish you and grow you up. Never partake in unbeneficial relationships… let me tell you why.
I used to be that girl that would accept a man as he was. Love him for all that he was. Fell in love with the IDEA of him and the POTENTIAL I saw in him. Made up a vision and stuck to it. There’s a word for that. DELUSION. The most dangerous word in the world besides the “PREGNANT.” Don’t be me. Being delusional makes you blind to alotta shit. Makes you blind to a nigga finessing you, blind to a nigga leading you on, sending you off, and fucking mistreating you. You’ll literally see the man finessing you out of your last $20 but it’s okay because you see his potential to be a great boyfriend. No. Take what it is and run with it. RUN.
Knowing your self worth is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You need to know who you are and what you are capable of. Of course, you can tell yourself this and that and make all kind of excuses for a nigga and hypothesize about how eventually he’ll get his shit together. But if he isn’t already what you want in a man don’t waste your time. A real man will do anything and everything to keep you happy and he will fight to protect you and your love. A real man might not know how to keep you happy but he will surely try his best and find brand new ways. He will do what he can for you and that’s that. No man is perfect and no relationship is always happy, but you’ll know when it just isn’t a good relationship. Love doesn’t hurt. Love yourself first.
Don’t get dickmatized.
There’s more men than women in the world, plenty of fish in the sea. You’ll always find a dick to fuck on and a face to sit on. Don’t worry about leaving a nigga because you’re scared that you won’t find great sex again. Sex is a door that you can always walk into and you shouldn’t worry about it at all. Dickmatism happens to the best of us, just recognize it and move on.
I ain’t even gonna lie. I’ve been dickmatized TOO GOOD once upon a time. I had start fucking with this nigga, lets call him, Daniel. He was like a drug to me from the moment I started talking to him and it didn’t matter what he did or said, he was mine so I didn’t care at all. He treated me so good at first! He was texting me everyday to wake me up, claiming me on social media, everything. That’s when the drama started. You know with dick there’s always a bitch attached. This girl had went to school with me and she dated this man, but at first when I started talking to him I really didn’t notice. Then I kinda recalled who he was and I didn’t care. He would post me on social media and he would claim me and that’s how shorty found out we was kicking shit. She INSTLANTLY slid in the DMs and explained how they were still talking and never gonna stop. I was oblivious to the bullshit, cause girl please.
That was the FIRST red flag. Months went by and the girl was still posting tweets about him still sending subliminals and he wouldn’t post me or anything anymore and atp I was dickmatized but didn’t realize it. I was still getting into it with hoes over this no good ass nigga but the dick was tooooo bomb. I was still arguing with hoes and fighting with bitches over a nigga and he knew he had me wrapped cause he would start to do shit in my face, getting comfortable. Don’t ever let a nigga get too comfortable! Even when I realized the nigga wasn’t shit I wasn’t still fucking with him for the potential. I was eating up his lies and taking his excuses for reasons. Moral of the story. When your intuition tells you something you listen. A nigga will tell you anything to benefit off you and a nigga WILL finesse you if you let them. You hold the power. Once you leave a aint shit ass nigga, you’ll level up and he’ll be on your dick. Stay woke sis.