Know your worth and add TAX.
Think of yourself as a house. You are AN ESTATE that you will always have to fix up, you will always have to make improvements. Small adjustments. These small adjustments will help keep the house together and intact… but what about the foundation? Was the foundation built sturdy enough to weather every storm and hold up through anything?
There were so many times where I felt that I fell short of what a woman is “supposed” to be. I felt like I wasn’t measuring up and I wasn’t living my life correctly. I would see all the other girls at school and they were skinny, fashionable, and they were dating boys. I of course knew some boys but I was socially awkward and I was unsure of myself. I didn’t know how to form HEALTHY social relationships with boys. Like what was I supposed to say to them? Ehhh wassup doc?
Right. Big ass nerd. I went to an all girls high school and there were two groups of black girls. There was a group of popular, highly liked girls and there were nerdy, boy band loving girls. I would say say I was in the middle. Don’t get me wrong I thought I was the shit, but there was times where I felt like I didn’t add up… if that makes sense.
In elementary school, I was looking for reactions. I wanted to know what would happen IF. I never even knew if I had self esteem issues or not that never crossed my mind. I later realized that I was naive and easily manipulated by boys, because I wanted them to like me. I tried hard, but little did I know even without all the extra, they would like me anyway. I would talk to ALL the boys in my classroom and they all seemed to flock to me. I was like a magnet. I would engage in conversations with the boys on the phone every night sometimes all the boys on the line at once, nothing dirty, but I would listen to their conversations . I wanted to fit in with them. I didn’t like the girls much, they were messy. This is the age where nudes were leaked, 3 way calls were recorded, and Facebook was popping. The niggas was on me like white on rice and I was eating the shit up because I loved attention. I loved having something to make me feel special something that made me think I was worth it. This is the age where I learned that it’s easy to lose yourself in your hormones. It’s easy to be manipulated into things you don’t want to do, if you want to be liked bad enough.
Honestly, I had a hard time in my own skin. I was teased since I was very little, because of my size jeans, my darker colored skin, my big lips. I especially was teased because I had “too much hair, and it wasn’t never combed right.” It took me the longest to be able to look in the mirror and face myself. It took me a long time to become confident with my arms out in the summer. It took forever to realize that a body count doesn’t define who you are. I wasn’t comfortable being me I wanted to be in someone else’s skin SO BADLY. I wondered how much better off the world would be without me. I have been that girl who self harmed, I have been that girl who contemplated suicide multiple times, I have been the girl who would just take the jabs because I didn’t think I was enough to stand up for myself.
“YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are everything.” Wake up every morning and tell yourself that and if not now, eventually you’ll believe it. Believe it or not, you are the only one who can be you. It sounds very cliche but it’s the truth. If anyone could just wake up in your body and be you, then this existence wouldn’t be real. Things everyone, even I, need to realize.
1. Life experiences don’t define your self worth.
No matter what social media and the world wants you to believe, only you can define who you are. Not how many guys/girls you fucked, how many times you got drunk and embarrassed yourself, not how many times you flunked out of school. You make your own destiny. Your worth isn’t based on “social norms.” You can’t live YOUR life worried about what the next bitch has to say. If she think you a pussy popper, then ok. That’s HER opinion. You know that you’re more than that. Don’t get sidetracked from doing whatever makes YOU happy.
2. Life has no rules.
Do whatever the fuck You want to do! This is the KEY to life. Focus on what you want and what you want your life experiences to consist of. Don’t worry about what anyone has to say about your life! It is not there shit to live.
3. Kick out every toxic mf in your life!
You know your self worth, so make sure they know as well. Don’t let anyone mistreat you and don’t indulge in shit that’s not benefitting you. Make sure people know that time is money and your charging they ass, with tax. Don’t even give and opportunity for them to waste your time.
Sidebar: Regarding relationships, knowing your self worth is vital. If you don’t know your worth you’ll forever be getting played, you’ll forever be taken advantage of. SET STANDARDS. Let your partner know what you will and WILL NOT TOLERATE. Knowing your worth will save you a lot of problems. They will try to tell you anything and you’ll let them because you think you need them or you’ll never find anyone else to be with you. You might think you’re not pretty enough, you’re not adventurous or whatever. There is someone that will love and accept you for you. Be patient.
Be confident that you’re that baddiest thang walking. Who’s gonna check you?