Don’t be a dummy!

Put yourself in my shoes for today.
Imagine being told all the time how lovely and beautiful you are. How amazing it is for you too have so many people who love and admire you. Imagine feeling lost and destitute at every moment of your life, but pretending to smile and laugh and enjoy life. Imagine not knowing your purpose. Not knowing your worth. Not even knowing why you let yourself fall so many times not even want to get back up. It’s scary isn’t it? The darkness. The loneliness. The heart wrenching pain. The thought that you’ll forever be stuck in that nightmare. But you’re only imagining it for a second… I’m living it.

What does it mean when you wake up everyday with a smile on your face? Is it happiness from waking up is it the love you feel radiating around you? Is it just the thought that you love yourself more than anything in this world and everyday you strive to make yourself happy and you’d never let anyone compromise that happiness or that joy?

I used to be so open to new relationships. I used to yearn to be loved by others, accepted even. Then I started living a little. Quickly realizing that this wasn’t what I wanted. Love from strangers, attention from strangers, validation from strangers… that’s not what you want or need. You don’t need a place to fit into. All you really need is the love you can provide yourself.

Find only those who can benefit you:

Whether it’s physically, mentally, or financially the people in your life HAVE TO BENEFIT YOU IN SOME WAY. I hear you “that’s using people.” OF COURSE IT IS. Use every tool you can. You use stairs to get go up don’t you? Everyone should use each other in a positive way. Help is always needed to succeed no matter what. In a relationship, use your partner. Use them for support, love, communication….use them for energy. A relationship is supposed to feed you it’s supposed to nourish you and grow you up. Never partake in unbeneficial relationships… let me tell you why.

I used to be that girl that would accept a man as he was. Love him for all that he was. Fell in love with the IDEA of him and the POTENTIAL I saw in him. Made up a vision and stuck to it. There’s a word for that. DELUSION. The most dangerous word in the world besides the “PREGNANT.” Don’t be me. Being delusional makes you blind to alotta shit. Makes you blind to a nigga finessing you, blind to a nigga leading you on, sending you off, and fucking mistreating you. You’ll literally see the man finessing you out of your last $20 but it’s okay because you see his potential to be a great boyfriend. No. Take what it is and run with it. RUN.

Knowing your self worth is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You need to know who you are and what you are capable of. Of course, you can tell yourself this and that and make all kind of excuses for a nigga and hypothesize about how eventually he’ll get his shit together. But if he isn’t already what you want in a man don’t waste your time. A real man will do anything and everything to keep you happy and he will fight to protect you and your love. A real man might not know how to keep you happy but he will surely try his best and find brand new ways. He will do what he can for you and that’s that. No man is perfect and no relationship is always happy, but you’ll know when it just isn’t a good relationship. Love doesn’t hurt. Love yourself first.

Don’t get dickmatized.
There’s more men than women in the world, plenty of fish in the sea. You’ll always find a dick to fuck on and a face to sit on. Don’t worry about leaving a nigga because you’re scared that you won’t find great sex again. Sex is a door that you can always walk into and you shouldn’t worry about it at all. Dickmatism happens to the best of us, just recognize it and move on.

I ain’t even gonna lie. I’ve been dickmatized TOO GOOD once upon a time. I had start fucking with this nigga, lets call him, Daniel. He was like a drug to me from the moment I started talking to him and it didn’t matter what he did or said, he was mine so I didn’t care at all. He treated me so good at first! He was texting me everyday to wake me up, claiming me on social media, everything. That’s when the drama started. You know with dick there’s always a bitch attached. This girl had went to school with me and she dated this man, but at first when I started talking to him I really didn’t notice. Then I kinda recalled who he was and I didn’t care. He would post me on social media and he would claim me and that’s how shorty found out we was kicking shit. She INSTLANTLY slid in the DMs and explained how they were still talking and never gonna stop. I was oblivious to the bullshit, cause girl please. 5D8ECAB5-84B5-4E7A-9218-7A7E95FFC49C

That was the FIRST red flag. Months went by and the girl was still posting tweets about him still sending subliminals and he wouldn’t post me or anything anymore and atp I was dickmatized but didn’t realize it. I was still getting into it with hoes over this no good ass nigga but the dick was tooooo bomb. I was still arguing with hoes and fighting with bitches over a nigga and he knew he had me wrapped cause he would start to do shit in my face, getting comfortable. Don’t ever let a nigga get too comfortable! Even when I realized the nigga wasn’t shit I wasn’t still fucking with him for the potential. I was eating up his lies and taking his excuses for reasons. Moral of the story. When your intuition tells you something you listen. A nigga will tell you anything to benefit off you and a nigga WILL finesse you if you let them. You hold the power. Once you leave a aint shit ass nigga, you’ll level up and he’ll be on your dick. Stay woke sis.

 

Know your worth, add tax.

Know your worth and add TAX.

Think of yourself as a house. You are AN ESTATE that you will always have to fix up, you will always have to make improvements. Small adjustments. These small adjustments will help keep the house together and intact… but what about the foundation? Was the foundation built sturdy enough to weather every storm and hold up through anything?

There were so many times where I felt that I fell short of what a woman is “supposed” to be. I felt like I wasn’t measuring up and I wasn’t living my life correctly. I would see all the other girls at school and they were skinny, fashionable, and they were dating boys. I of course knew some boys but I was socially awkward and I was unsure of myself.  I didn’t know how to form HEALTHY social relationships with boys. Like what was I supposed to say to them? Ehhh wassup doc?

318B1C2C-404C-4FB1-A217-21CAD7B9A197.gif

Right. Big ass nerd. I went to an all girls high school and there were two groups of black girls. There was a group of popular, highly liked girls and there were nerdy, boy band loving girls. I would say say I was in the middle. Don’t get me wrong I thought I was the shit, but there was times where I felt like I didn’t add up… if that makes sense.

In elementary school, I was looking for reactions. I wanted to know what would happen IF. I never even knew if I had self esteem issues or not that never crossed my mind. I later realized that I was naive and easily manipulated by boys, because I wanted them to like me. I tried hard, but little did I know even without all the extra, they would like me anyway. I would talk to ALL the boys in my classroom and they all seemed to flock to me. I was like a magnet. I would engage in conversations with the boys on the phone every night sometimes all the boys on the line at once, nothing dirty, but I would listen to their conversations . I wanted to fit in with them. I didn’t like the girls much, they were messy. This is the age where nudes were leaked, 3 way calls were recorded, and Facebook was popping. The niggas was on me like white on rice and I was eating the shit up because I loved attention. I loved having something to make me feel special something that made me think I was worth it. This is the age where I learned that it’s easy to lose yourself in your hormones. It’s easy to be manipulated into things you don’t want to do, if you want to be liked bad enough.

Honestly, I had a hard time in my own skin. I was teased since I was very little, because of my size jeans, my darker colored skin, my big lips. I especially was teased because I had “too much hair, and it wasn’t never combed right.” It took me the longest to be able to look in the mirror and face myself. It took me a long time to become confident with my arms out in the summer. It took forever to realize that a body count doesn’t define who you are. I wasn’t comfortable being me I wanted to be in someone else’s skin SO BADLY. I wondered how much better off the world would be without me. I have been that girl who self harmed, I have been that girl who contemplated suicide multiple times, I have been the girl who would just take the jabs because I didn’t think I was enough to stand up for myself.

“YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are everything.” Wake up every morning and tell yourself that and if not now, eventually you’ll believe it. Believe it or not, you are the only one who can be you. It sounds very cliche but it’s the truth. If anyone could just wake up in your body and be you, then this existence wouldn’t be real. Things everyone, even I, need to realize.

1. Life experiences don’t define your self worth.
No matter what social media and the world wants you to believe, only you can define who you are. Not how many guys/girls you fucked, how many times you got drunk and embarrassed yourself, not how many times you flunked out of school. You make your own destiny. Your worth isn’t based on “social norms.” You can’t live YOUR life worried about what the next bitch has to say. If she think you a pussy popper, then ok. That’s HER opinion. You know that you’re more than that. Don’t get sidetracked from doing whatever makes YOU happy.

2. Life has no rules.

Do whatever the fuck You want to do! This is the KEY to life. Focus on what you want and what you want your life experiences to consist of. Don’t worry about what anyone has to say about your life! It is not there shit to live. 1A6C3023-DB7A-40F4-93B0-12C5B3A078C1.gif
3. Kick out every toxic mf in your life!

You know your self worth, so make sure they know as well. Don’t let anyone mistreat you and don’t indulge in shit that’s not benefitting you. Make sure people know that time is money and your charging they ass, with tax. Don’t even give and opportunity for them to waste your time.
Sidebar: Regarding relationships, knowing your self worth is vital. If you don’t know your worth you’ll forever be getting played, you’ll forever be taken advantage of. SET STANDARDS. Let your partner know what you will and WILL NOT TOLERATE. Knowing your worth will save you a lot of problems. They will try to tell you anything and you’ll let them because you think you need them or you’ll never find anyone else to be with you. You might think you’re not pretty enough, you’re not adventurous or whatever. There is someone that will love and accept you for you. Be patient.

Be confident that you’re that baddiest thang walking. Who’s gonna check you? 3139A97D-55AF-4FEF-98C3-65318F7C3F55